About This Lesson

If you identify with a character that is conscious, you can change your own state of consciousness. How? By identifying with the conscious character in the movie, you yourself become more conscious than you would otherwise be. To see consciousness, you yourself must be conscious. A great teaching in the movie is to just be very aware of how Grandpa Howard lives, how he deals with situations, and how he interacts with people. It is joyful to see how easy a non-resistant life can be. In contrast to all the other members of the family that struggle and suffer at the beginning of the movie, Grandpa lives with a sense of ease and stillness. You can watch the movie several times and still derive benefit because there are many layers to Donald Sutherland’s performance. We invite you to join Donald in a state of presence.

1Which character in the movie did you identify with the most? Why?

 

2What did you learn as a result of watching that character face various challenges in the film?

 

3In what way did watching that character evolve in the film inspire you?

Engage in a family discussion around specific examples where conflict may have occurred and a character in the movie was triggered and reacted. How did they react? Did the reaction help the situation or cause more upset and frustration?

Now engage in a conversation about the ways Grandpa Howard responded to the same conflicts. Did he become upset or frustrated with the situation? What strategies did he use to respond in a calm, empathic way? What strategies could you use to respond in a similar way?

Brainstorm a list of situations that caused the characters stress in the movie (i.e., work, past negative experiences, bad traffic, etc). Write each situation down on a paper and put them into a bowl. Have each family member take a turn drawing one out of the bowl and read it aloud. Discuss how Grandpa Howard would respond to that situation and what strategies he might use.

Following this activity, invite family members to write down their own stressful situations, put them into the bowl and play the game again.

Some suggested strategies:

-pause, take a breath, and walk away until you calm down
-be aware that you have been triggered and practice one conscious breath to remain calm
-ask questions to clarify the real issue before reacting to the situation
-respectfully communicating your feelings to the other person(s)

We all experience times when we want to react to something or someone. It’s important to note that it’s normal and okay to feel frustration or even anger as a response to what has happened. However instead of letting the frustration drive your actions, you can notice it and respond in a calm way.

It’s empowering to know that you have a choice in how you respond when you are triggered. Pausing, taking a breath and creating space between you and what triggered you allows you time to make a better choice and respond without anger and frustration.