Unless you learn to forgive yourself and others, the past determines who you are in the present. You will not only carry the burden of the past into the present, but also build an identity around the things that have happened. This will prevent you from living in the present moment and bringing a fresh outlook to each situation.
This teachable moment refers to 42:45 to 44:27 & 57:27 to 58:23 from the film.
About This Lesson
While shopping at the garden centre, Milton asks, “Grandpa have you ever killed someone?” Grandpa says, “When you cause a hurt to someone, it takes away a piece of you. And if you can’t forgive yourself, the past determines who you are in the present.” Milton then asks, “Did you grandpa, did you forgive yourself” to which his Grandfather replies, “I’m a work in progress.”
The second teachable moment from this chapter occurs when Grandpa has a conversation with Carter’s father Mr.Crane. While visiting Mr.Crane, Grandpa shows us how he is able to leave the past in the past and be completely present with him. He is not thinking about the bullying that has occurred but rather speaks to him in a respectful, kind way. This is a form of forgiveness.
Discussion Questions
1Can you think of a time when you’ve had a difficult time forgiving the actions/words of someone?
2Have you ever done or said something that you have had a hard time forgiving yourself for?
3If you focus on the negative actions/words that upset you in the past, can you see the unnecessary suffering that you experience? Do you feel you have to harbour the bad feelings and memories or do you think you have a choice to forgive that person and let it go?
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