About This Lesson

As Jane and Grandpa share in the tea ceremony, Milton is upstairs in his room. The voice in his head goes on and on with fearful thoughts. Milton is aware of what his mind is doing and he focuses on his breath. This allows him to escape his fearful stream of thinking and come into the present moment. Milton’s mother enters his room and they share a beautiful moment of presence. This is an example of how parents can give pure attention, a form of attention that does not bring conditions, does not bring wanting anything, does not bring up problems or issues. Jane is able to give her son, pure attention and a stillness arises, the scene becomes peaceful. They emanate peace as they both share this moment of presence. Jane is able to maintain this state of consciousness in a later scene, outside the fire, when she is able to remain compassionate and present with Milton. At that moment, she gives him a hug and she’s totally there for him. Jane’s transformation is well underway. Previously she was frequently burdened by fearful thoughts about the future. As Milton says, she was living on Planet Fear. Now she is able to share presence, loving kindness, stillness and peacefulness with the members of her family. These scenes demonstrate how the family is gradually learning how to live in a different way, in a state of presence.

1Have there been times when you felt fully present with a member of your family? How did that look/sound/feel?

 

2Did you notice that your own mood or quality of being
changed when someone was fully present with you? Did you notice yourself being more kind or loving?

 

3How do you think Milton benefited by his mother showing him compassion (after the fire) and being more present with him?

Revisit the Rainbow Visualization from Chapter 5 with your family member/members by taking 2 minutes to lead it again.

Following that, suggest that you engage in the preparation of a family meal together. Suggest that being fully present and bringing all your attention to a sometimes mundane/boring activity can create a fun, positive experience for everyone.

Sit together and brainstorm what you could prepare and lay out the jobs that need to happen to create the meal (chopping, peeling, cooking, setting the table, etc). Allow your children to choose which job or jobs they will do and set about preparing the meal.
When the meal is ready, sit down as a family to enjoy and savour it. Make a conscious effort to express gratitude for everyone’s role in the meal and express how the process was more fun and satisfying with everyone being present for it.

This could also be done by simply passing a “gratitude stone” around the table before beginning the meal. Each person can be invited to hold the gratitude stone and say “I am grateful for _______.”
Each person could express someone or something they are grateful for while holding the stone. (eg. I am grateful for (name) peeling the carrots; I am grateful we created a meal together; I am grateful for our home; I am grateful for family, etc.

Please note that expressing gratitude is always an invitation and not a forced activity!